By Tori Wilson
  • Virgin Mary

    Virgin Mary


The Virgin Bride certainly wasn’t what I expected when turning up to the Regal Theatre on a Friday evening – but it was much more.

Not quite knowing what it was that I was in for, I took a seat and admired the vintage theatre draped with gold and velvet burgundy, which created a rather majestic impression.

When Logie Award-winning comedian Mary Coustas (dolled up as the virgin bride Effie) walked onto the stage the audience cheered immediately, so I had an inkling she was going to deliver good things.

With big, over-the-top hair, over-the-top bridal bling and an over-the-top accent, Effie appeared and sounded exactly like the Greek version of Kath and Kim as she ran us through her history of mediocre men.

Mary’s ability as a performer was mind blowing. Not only did she carry the audience away with laughter through her hilariously relatable Effie, but she pulled off acting as Effie’s daughter Aphrodite and as Effie’s sleazy but spectacular Uncle Vasili.

Each character was completely their own with convincing personas.

Obviously the Greeks around Perth got the memo that Mary Coustas was in town. It wasn’t until the interval – post-Greek themed performance – that I realised about 50 per cent of the audience were Greek, or at least European.

Mary seemed to know that this would be the case when addressing the audience and it made the show only more hilarious to those members who could really relate to the struggles of being a part of a Greek family. But by no means did it exclude those who didn’t fit the Greek bill.

A Greek/Aussie union was a prominent theme throughout the show due to Effie’s dream man ‘Shane Bradley-Cooper’s’ non-Greek, straight Aussie nationality (which was shock horror news to Effie’s parents).

To highlight the struggles of half Greek half skip couples when it comes to marriage, projected screenings showed pairs discussing the trivial challenges of integrating their two families. Greek mothers seemed to be a high point of contention between every couple; in case you’re in the same boat as I, skip is a term for Aussies that I was only just enlightened to.

After Effie and Shane said 'I do' and whisked away to the bridal suite to tarnish what was left of her 'innocence', Mary had the crowd wrapped around her finger. She managed to have us all standing for her at the end as she partied away in a glimmering get-up.

It's fair to say she deserved the applause; her one-woman show was built on talent and a passion for performing.

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